My short story ,MY SELF and a girl that i love ''R''

My name is evan,i was born in Brebes,Central java,Indonesia..actually i live on Earth :D.

I have so many experienece with my self..,and you know what ?! when i was 13 years old i've been fall in love with a girl,she is looks charming,beautiful,kind,. But i have a trouble here,because i can't talk to girl easily like other guys in my school.,i don't know why?,why its happens to me?,why should i know that girl?,why should i fall in love with her? till i understand one things that fall in love with her is just out of my control..,everyday im going to school,and everyday too i met her,because im in the same class with her,.however everytime im sitting next to her,i always look for her,and when im in a room full of people the first people that i search is her..,the most beautiful moment in my life is when a mathematic 2 april 2012,11.38 o'clock ,because at the time her starring me and i dont know i fell very happy when it happens,and YOU KNOW WHAT I PRAY TO GOD? i told Him : ''Ya,Allah bila kau telah menciptakan berbagai macam keindahan di dunia ini,maka dia lah keindahan yang paling ku kagumi,dan kuharap jam tidak pernah bergerak,hari tidak pernah berganti,karena inilah salah satu bagian terindah dalam hidupku''.But im a pesimism , this think that always lies in my head :
1.When i saw her,im afraid if she doesn't like it
2.when i think of her,im afraid if she think other man in her mind

3.when i say i love you,im afraid if she'd always says : Masak ? or ''is it ?''
4.When i said somethings to her,im afraid if she doesn't facing me
5.when i call her name,im afraid she doesn't heard me
and you know who is her? she looks like an angel in my life,, my faithness in my doubts,my spirit in my suffer of life,and SHE IS a half of my life..,